Where all the unsaid things are.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

to freedom!

I am Mush Potato. I am Butthead. I am Rainbow Brite. I am Ferb. I am Luigi. I am Super. I am whoever I wish to be. I am whoever Mushy sees me. Happiness. Daydream believer.

I dream of having my house in some place kilometers away from my neighbors; where I could fly kite, have skinny dipping, ride a vintage bike, climb a tree and watch the big yellow moon, perhaps marry, do things that I never knew I could. Ironic it seems, but the meaning of happiness for me is absolute freedom - away from people, who stare, their standards or that morality. Who follows that anyway? I see all people fracture that book one wicked way or another. And ramblings maybe, I'm but I'm tired of hearing my decadence from others mouth while they fail to see their own tainted collars.

I'm living in one of the undiscovered Africas in the world, where in ordinary days great Savanna race happens in a very peculiar way. Survival of the fittest. Fittest in this context means most normal (that's scary) and understood. They are most likely if not win, will survive the race. Weak deviants nevertheless either hang themselves in the closet or jump off from an edge of something high than to struggle to be accepted.

I got tired of looking for a brighter side of this world. Or at least making myself believe that there is. That's why I chose to live in my own Inside world. Even if it's small (even getting smaller everyday). Inside, I feel safe. I have a vague picture of this inside I can't really describe it. Inside is oftentimes metaphorical. On the Outside, the Inside is nothing, just an illusion. But Inside is relative. For me, Inside is an escape pod. It is somewhere I feel everything is alright. Some people traveled for years just to find their Insides. I however, found mine with Mushy.

I am on a journey that would perhaps start one year from now. I hope. On a humanistic perspective, I am on a journey to find a safer place for me and Mushy, to build that house I've been dreaming of, to feed our Insides; where we could really be ourselves, and not just take the camouflage of the accepted truth.
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Sunday, May 9, 2010

isangdaan at dalawang butas

Kung para sa totoong pagbabago ang hangarin mo sa pagtakbo sa eleksyong ito, bakit sa huli, isa isa kayong nagstapler ng pera sa inyong pangalan?

Marahil ganun lang talaga kayo kayaman at walang mapaglagyan ng pera kaya pinamigay na lang. Pero hayaan na kung saan galing ang mga perang yan. Ang isipin kung bakit kailangan nyo pang bilhin ang boto ng tao ay sapat na para magtae ang bolpen ko.

Kung alam mong ikaw ay karapatdapat manungkulan, bakit ka makikipagsabayan sa mga kalaban mo? Bakit sa lahat ng araw ng pagpapagod mo sa pangangampanya, sa paglalatag ng makataong plataporma, sa pagsasabing matwid ka, ngayon sa huling araw ay nagpahulog ka, sumabay sa agos ng kurapsyon? Bakit ka bumibili ng boto!

Maaaring para sa iyo, payak na pagtumbas lamang yan sa mga katunggali mo, pero para sa akin nagiging malabo na ang sinasabi mong pagbabago. Dahil sa dalawang maliit na butas sa papel na hawak ko, kitang-kita ko na ang kinabukasan ng Pilipinas sa susunod na anim na taon.

Hindi na rin ako nagtataka kung bakit umaga pa lang napakaraming tao na ang nag-aabang sa kalsada. Tingnan mo, gabi na nadyan pa rin sila. Tsk. Malamang nagaantay sa baluktot mong pangako.

Nakakawalang gana. Kahit na una pa lang alam ko nang palpak, excited pa rin naman ako sa electronic election na yan. Dahil unang beses kong boboto. Sana mabilang ang boto ko. Dahil bukas boboto ako bilang taong malaya. Boboto ako bilang taong hindi bayad.

Kung masyadong magarbo ang wish kong yan at imposible, eto na lang:
Sana wag mareject ang balota ko ng PCOS Machine nyo.

Kahit yan na lang. Kahit di ko na alam kung saan mapupunta yon pakatapos.
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