Why do I love thee? {thee=EonGrey}

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To the king of the world

I don't know what you want to do with me or what you want me to do for you. I don't know why you let people into my life like placing pieces on a chessboard and eventually be given up one by one to protect the other pieces who has a higher value. Who says that one should have greater value than the other by the way? I don't understand, maybe because I don't have even a slight grasp of your universal perspective up there. I wouldn't know, maybe if you'd grant me sunshine everyday, somebody somewhere across the world would freeze to death. So my prayers went with no return all throughout. How would I know? I am as foolish as everybody else not knowing the law of your universe. Most of all, I don't understand why you allowed us to learn love without giving the freewill of whom to love. How could you give so much restrictions for such an infinite idea? Infinite possibilities. I stopped talking to you because I don't know what would you say. I wouldn't even know if you're still listening to me. You're quite a silent guy. Or maybe not. But I'm not good at reading signs even the obvious. I'm not good at talking things out, too, you know that. But this is me trying.

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Ramblings

It's 830 in the morning and classes won't resume until tomorrow. So I have the whole 24 hours to sleep in preparation for the next 2 months, or 3. But my mother who has no idea of what I'l get back on starting tomorrow for the next 3 months, woke us up for breakfast and some house chores.

I imagined my high maintenance closet being ignored for almost 1 week, my duty bag which is emptied, all the things it should contain, my uniform, my shoes gaah..remembering all the things I tried to forget the whole vacation makes my mind whirl in panic. So I went out of bed.

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Ramblings

It's not like I planned everything that happen in past present and future tenses of my life. Or they went through MY plans. My college education (which is quite expensive and for regrets), social connections (very poor and limited), romantic affairs (only two respectively) and so much more in that matter. Sometimes I feel guilty for failing to give my parents the previlege of parenting an academic excellent child. But there's always this black matter of my brain telling me that I wouldn't be stuck and suck in this course if not because of them. It is my deep regrets not to able to go study what I really want, arts.

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. That's my favorite line from All At Once by The Fray.

You're the lucky bastard when you did the RIGHT THING and you are HAPPY. So screw you, for being the King of the World! Haha.

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Everyone!

:D

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I call it A Year now

I ended last year and started this year with my so-far-all-time-favorite-novel Time Traveller's Wife which Jen gave me as a Christmas gift. So reading the book is officially the first thing I did this year. Then after sometime I went to Makati for Summer Affiliation. Celebrated our second anniversary. Received invisible flower from Jen one morning. Binged over Happiness (French) Fries and Rakenrol (Rocky Road) Sundae. Made it to the leaderboard spot beside Jen in every FB game (except Restaurant City, because she used good cheats there). Tsk. Went to Enchanted Kingdom with the whole batch. Met Jen's bestfriend, Ayen and Ate Itna. And Tot. Went to Jen's old workplace, NSRI. Met Jen's Ex. Checked in in one of UP Houses with Jen. Ate, drank vodka. Made love. Walked around UP with Alki. Had photo op with oble. Watched Kick Ass. Couched potatoed Big Bang Theory (introduced by Ayen), He's Beautiful and Phineas and Ferb. Tried cooking lunch. Did terrible mess in the kitchen. Almost defeated Jen in shooting hoops. Watched PS I Love You more than 5 times. Learned new tricks in Photoshop CS4. Watched PS I Love You again for a couple of times. Swimming with Mark and 2 sibs, Mike, Chester and Jen. Sleeptalk many times (according to Jen). Turned 20. Lost my sanity on my birthday. Crammed. Had my final defense the day after my birthday cancelled. Finally, had my final defense 2 days later. Received monster model, Birthdaymon, as a birthday present from Jen. Watched Sorcerer's Apprentice. Had series of Taho Days with nobody else but Cecil on early morning shifts. Created EonGrey on Photoshop. Played table hockey with Jen. Result: 1-1. Had Karaoke Fridays with Alki, Ayen, Bijo, Maj, Lester and Dennis. Plus Jen. Bought EJ (stuff giraffe) for Jen. Pet EJ everytime I visit him on his shelf. Watched The Notebook with Jen on a rainy day. Watched PNE environmental concert @ BU ground on VIP seats (courtesy by Jen's mom). Another swimming with Mark, Mike, Mam Jules and Jen. Watched The Social Network. Facebooked almost always. Gave Jen piggyback rides. Attended high school reunion with Jen. Had terrible sinusitis. Ate lots of dark chocolates. Ride a vox. Made my first cotton balls in my entire duty history. Enrolled in several review centers. Finally, settled in one. NARRI. Watched Amnesia Girl. Okay, Jen didn't cry on it. That is only because she isn't paying attention to the movie. Won Tap Tap against Jen almost everytime. This month, I dug on Muchaussen's Syndrome. Had my last midterm in college. Watched December moon smiled like Chesire Cat. Watched HP7 DVD rip. Didn't finish HP7. Bought Jen a birthday present of her choice, pink backpack. Met other college buddies of Jen - Rose, Theresa and Princess. Ran luch for Jen and Mam Caryl as they took comprehensive exams. Stood at the back of the door the whole day. Napped at the corridor for 30 minutes. Taken underwater shots. Spent overnight in Tiki Huts @ CWC, Jen almost falling off the bed throughout the night because of Chester. Had my blood extracted for CBC. Pinch-hugged Jen's tummy while extraction. Got a normal blood count except for some mighty WBC. Got a new pair of eyes. Argued over stupid stuff that kept us awake overnight. Bought a cake for Jen. Celebrated her 30th birthday @ her place and pool swimming on the rainy night. Experienced lots of rain. Took pictures of myself. Took pictures of Jen. And us together.FELT LOVE and WAS LOVED incomparably - more than anything else this year. It was a good year.

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12.28.10: EonGrey Day

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Whatabouts

It's true that when you have so much to say so much to tell, words would be scarce even when you try to talk. These past few days, it's been rough. That explains my absences here.

So finally, we decided to enroll in NARRI Nursing Review. It's quite a risk. We don't know how things work with them but due to proximity of the venue, we took it. We there refers to my closest friends, Dyan and Chester. So far, nothing is proving us we made the right decision. But I guess we'll stick with it. Probably just do double time reading and verifying doubtful information they are giving us. TSK.

One reason I want to pursue it is that I could be with Jen almost anytime beyond my review hours because it's in the same campus. And she could walk me to my classroom everyday. And we could have banana split every weekend! Or vodka. Haha. Yay! :))

This is both our final semester. Our there refers to Jen and me. Me, my last semester in college, and Jen her last in masteral. That is if we finished everything before the deadlines. We got a long list of to do's (and not to do's) we try to keep it up.

I really really want to write many things here now, things like new bus rides experience and music and unborn twins and frustrating paper works and why Jen and I spent the whole afternoon in the toilet floor and love. But I'm afraid I have to go and prepare my examination for my student nurses tomorrow. I'm playing head nurse in ER this week. So that's all for now. Gah. I'll be writing something more useful soon!

[This is me keeping up with my promise to my blog. ^^,]

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