Transient paresthesia

From here and now I reckon the truth of the life I deny everyday.

As painful as to be the one who always stand next in line.
To be the one always waiting, for that

which will happen only if and when another thing happens.

Photo Credit

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Whatabouts

It's true that when you have so much to say so much to tell, words would be scarce even when you try to talk. These past few days, it's been rough. That explains my absences here.

So finally, we decided to enroll in NARRI Nursing Review. It's quite a risk. We don't know how things work with them but due to proximity of the venue, we took it. We there refers to my closest friends, Dyan and Chester. So far, nothing is proving us we made the right decision. But I guess we'll stick with it. Probably just do double time reading and verifying doubtful information they are giving us. TSK.

One reason I want to pursue it is that I could be with Jen almost anytime beyond my review hours because it's in the same campus. And she could walk me to my classroom everyday. And we could have banana split every weekend! Or vodka. Haha. Yay! :))

This is both our final semester. Our there refers to Jen and me. Me, my last semester in college, and Jen her last in masteral. That is if we finished everything before the deadlines. We got a long list of to do's (and not to do's) we try to keep it up.

I really really want to write many things here now, things like new bus rides experience and music and unborn twins and frustrating paper works and why Jen and I spent the whole afternoon in the toilet floor and love. But I'm afraid I have to go and prepare my examination for my student nurses tomorrow. I'm playing head nurse in ER this week. So that's all for now. Gah. I'll be writing something more useful soon!

[This is me keeping up with my promise to my blog. ^^,]

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Random thoughts on my scribble pad

There's nothing like watching the sun come down from the window of our classroom. At first, the sky is all kind of bright orange and red and burning. Then the nearby building starts to swallow the sun, only those beyond it knows what happen next. But to me its like Picasso's depression paintings with scrawny blue hues.

It's not that I don't like Picasso. In fact, he is one of my favorite painters. At least his earlier stuff - before he started making women look like monsters, with their mouths open screaming and sharp spiked tongues and of course those blue beggars and all the other bluey painting.

She likes Van Gogh. Because I think he paints a lot of sunflowers. Maybe I do, too. I can't decide. Picasso has more styles to choose from. But Von Gogh's color is wilder and I love the way he made all those thick swirls of paint.

But then, to complicate the issue of who I like best there is Leonardo da Vinci! And Claude Monet. And Me. Haha. Actually, I like them all. I haven't really found my own style yet, but then it took Picasso a while before he found his.

****
Thought of painting right now is like a deep breath of air. It's 6:56 in the evening of a very long blue day. And I'm still sitting in my Physics class.

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It just keeps getting better

nothing is worse. old music, new music, films, books, paintings, photographs, poems, random conversations, trees, clouds, rainbow, aspirations, job. they don't become less everyday, they are just different.

there are happy days, happier days and happiest day. but there are no lonely days. it's only that you are happier yesterday than you are today...

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my inspiration

i'll be looking for you...

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seventeen minutes to midnight

Had I been so sad for a very long time that now I can’t make anyone believe that I can really be happy for a day?

Maybe.

And maybe proving something is a crap. But for a particular person, I’ll prove that I can tie up tight my happy strings again.

If I had a bad try today, I’ll still give a try tomorrow. And even days after tomorrow. I still believe that that day will come when I can be happy without even trying and you would believe that.

Even if for now there is nobody else but me left to believe that.

(12.03am. I already consumed 3 minutes of the day where I should start being happy again rambling. So I think I should sleep.)

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bus ride, volkwagen beetles and throbbing on a 24-hour donut place

• I rode an ordinary bus to my boarding house and I didn't exorcise.
• I saw 6 - yeah SIX for crying out loud - Volkswagen beetles! A moss green. A rusty silver. A light blue. An orange. A red. And a white! But I'd be more delightful if I can knock off somebody's head. I have a thing on volks beetles. They inexplicably make me feel light and child-like.

....


.......
............^The phase-out of original beetles. The phase-out of me.

• I took a cheap magazine from a booksale. I read somewhere over the pages that dog fights do not usually cause too much damage. The loser will usually submit by lying down, which reduces the level of aggression in the dominant dog. Izzie laid down on the bathroom floor. Christina on the counter. Now, I understand. We are a bunch of dogs. The world is this strongest dog.
• The world wins again.
  
• I just noticed that I'm lying on this table with the munchkins. I gave up a million dollar worth battle. I lost a friend and the love of my life.
• Tired. Helpless.
  
• Call me. I think I'm dead.
  

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