seventeen minutes to midnight

Had I been so sad for a very long time that now I can’t make anyone believe that I can really be happy for a day?

Maybe.

And maybe proving something is a crap. But for a particular person, I’ll prove that I can tie up tight my happy strings again.

If I had a bad try today, I’ll still give a try tomorrow. And even days after tomorrow. I still believe that that day will come when I can be happy without even trying and you would believe that.

Even if for now there is nobody else but me left to believe that.

(12.03am. I already consumed 3 minutes of the day where I should start being happy again rambling. So I think I should sleep.)

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Simon's very first picture

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She asked me if I am going to marry, too.

My grandmother told me stories, particularly those of my childhood that I was too young remember and also those too embarrassing to remember.

• about dancing the itik itik* on second grade
  
• about asking her to play bahay-bahayan* with me [because I can't get my mother to play it with me] during sleeping hours
  
• about how my nose and throat sored because of taking unbelievable amount of sweets even after lights-off at bedtime
  
• about raging to tear up my cousin's test papers because she got more perfect scores than me at kindergarten

One thing I'm grateful this summer is that I had the chance to sit in and tend to my 76-year-old grandmother. Aside from giving me the painful awareness of how I've been cruel and whimsical at the same time when I was a kid, I found out that my grandmother lived the limelight of her life on the time where writing love letters are the best possible way of getting in contact with their "prospect", where watching movies on a cinema with a man is a decision that ladies make in a week. I didn't know that that sepia time was real.

I'm a lola's girl. But it doesn't really matter. (._.)

Yoy can't be a kid forever. So it pays when you listen to your old folks. If you didn't, what's there to tell to next us?




___ itik itik. it's a native dance where dancers imitate a duck genus called itik
___ bahay-bahayan. common fancy play of children imagining living in your own house and having you own kids

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30 minutes.

Summer days. I'm starting to wish that it would be over. It makes me do pathetic things like check in an internet cafe for 30 minutes just to have the benefit of its air conditioning unit. It's 35-36 degrees. Bloody hot!!! Poor me on my jogging pants and running shoes. Didn't had the chance to get change from jogging [which I do for 2 days now in favor of my best friend, Dyan, who really needed company or I say, motivation - in weight-trimming down] earlier this morning.

I went off to the bank to deposit. Unfortunately, it's off line. So I have to wait like I don't know 'till when. Argh!

Blistering heat.
30 minutes wearing off.
Got to go and check my luck again. x

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2008

Mama

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my favorite Hiro!

so cute

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11pm

happiness
is the last thing I thought I'd feel lately.
love
is what I'm breathing again.
_______________________
love is not like Santa so i think i should keep believing on it..

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For Mushy

Dearest,

I have carried the thought of that last time we were together, it was longer than a lifetime. A dull life, that I wish to end tonight. Do not worry my love, I have woke up from all those tremors. It is you I love, I have woke up. But if one day, I won't be able to, you'll know I loved you everyday I lived since that untimely mid-day we met. It has been cleared. I've woke up and I've seen it as bright as the sun on that first hello.

You never left me but I always fail to be there for you. I regret having left you for so so many times. You gave up once. I was dying but scared to pull you back because you might not believe in me anymore. But you've returned in your small glance and waves in the window, like you've always been, you are my sunshine, and I am grateful for it. Where I have gone does not matter. Where we will go is what does. This world shall not tear me away again no matter how hard it should try. But if it does, I'll come back to you... just as sun comes back to the day every dawn.

In this room, and at this time the clocks are all making up for lost time. And I too, have much catching up to do... but they will not catch me, too. Just please... let me try again. I miss you so much.

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Overrated

Why do people
want to heal
the world?
I didn't know it's
sick. Or sober.
I think people
themselves are.

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mushroom

there's a mushy spot

idea

...from
....master jedi

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