Msiplecad

One year after graduation, seven months after passing the Not so Easy Board Examination, I still feel the same. I'm misplaced big time.

You can tell that I am. I haven't got any decent job in the hospital, or clinic, or community. I wonder if there's ever a "decent" job out there for us now, honestly. But no matter how my profession has been "challenged", I am supposed to live it by now.

I know it's such a waste of time and will to think of something you could've been when you could always make lemonade from the ones you've got. But I feel terrible to imagine how life could be brighter if I had been a TV host or documentarist or director, more often than I move bowels lately.

I'm going to tell why for once. I have this ability to mutate into someone super working with things I really like. I guess, it's a higher degree of compensation, too. People from my high school could attest to that. During senior year, we have three Mathematics subject (Alzebra, Calculi and Trinonomy). I would never hit above 85 in any of those but my English subjects' mark are, well, they're outstanding. Apparently, Mathematics outnumbered our English subjects (we just have 2, English 4 and Public Speaking), so I still didn't graduate valedictorian. Hahaha. I'm kidding. I need to battle off 14 brains to get there. There's just too little pride one could take being on the 15th spot in a class of 40 just because they can't find the motherfugging X everytime. I mean it's probable, if we had 12 English subjects and 1 Arts, right?

Going back to my lemonades, it's like a big version of Mathematics. I'm thinking that maybe I am not getting any post in a hospital just because I don't like to. Other reasons would be shadowed excuses.

I always wanted to make documentaries about things, people, events and probably french fries, too. That's why I wanted to get in either communication arts or film at the University of my Dreams. My parents thought it would be great, if I won't get killed in a rally. They always thought I'd become an activist when I go to college because of my temper and intolerance to mediocrity. And that is the story entitled, "Why I ended taking up nursing in the nearest state university". What's yours?

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Ngayon Gets Ko Na

Hindi lang basta luxury o exaggerated ang team building sa call centers. Nagiging necessity sila sa gatong trabaho. Gaya ng pagyoyosi.

Pumapayat o tumataba ng sobra ang mga tao. Walang sapat na physical activity para sa normal na metabolism. Papagutom ka na lang kung ayaw mo ma-constipate.

Hindi mo na maidentify kung alin ang coping mechanism at alin ang attitude lang ng mga katrabaho mo. So para mapalampas mo na, iisipin mo na lang coping mechanism ang lahat.

Pag nasa floor, makahanap ka lang ng masasandalan, makakatulog ka na. Pero pag day off at andami mong oras para matulog, kulang na lang maghanap ka ng mabibilhan ng antok para makatulog.

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Of Work and Satisfaction

Human are born self-satisfying creatures. But there will always come a time when we will find greater joy in making somebody else' life brighter one way or another. (Do I sound like I'm getting old?) It's just something I actually get from work. In a call center, where I am currently working, everyday is a DIFFERENT experience, but if I could write a story for every call that I had, it will always sum up to that realization.

I am the most impatient and stubborn person at my worst. It's amazing how I get through every long and annoying calls I get though. What really happens is that those people I talk to on the phone help me as I help them. They help me learn patience (though partly coerced) like I will never learn it from anything else.

Some days you will get the most verbally abusive person you will ever talked to in your entire life on the phone but they are the ones I believe who needed my help the most. Because if I won't help them, who else will? Though it's a bit lame, I ask myself that question everytime I feel like releasing the call. Then I stayed the course. They are the hardest work for me, I could cry when we got through successfully and when they strip off to kind and thankful lambs.

On the other side of the coin, there are these old people, where I get all kinds of consolation and inspiration. Don't you just think they are the most grateful people in the world? I don't know if it's just me but I could not think of anybody as appreciative and contented as this folks.

During our training, we were asked what might inspire us working in this kind of office. To think that I will have the power to make things better for some people. I could not get any better answer than that. This is not where I planned to be, but little things like a million dollar "Thank you(s)" is worth all the sleep and life lost - enough to make everyday a try again day. :)

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We got Tumblr!

http://somethingswelearn.tumblr.com/

it's a compilation of every bit of what we learn everyday.
hoping that you'd learn something from them, too. yeash. please do follow us. ^^

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Of New Beginnings and Unknown Endings

I've been working more than 9 hours and sleep for the rest of the hours of the day. I get up for a couple of minutes to talk to Jen. And that's the only real beak I get. I wonder what would my younger self would tell me now if ever she get herself out deep from within. Because I remember what exactly I told myself when I was in high school. I wouldn't work in a million years for any job that's in an office. To be sitting the whole day in the same office and do the same thing everyday, it could kill me. Well, guess what, I am here. Learning how things work in the millionth year.


I just signed a contract in a BPO. It just tarted from a speck of curiosity to get out from the strawberry's to another field. I could technically strike through it on my bucket list now, I already tasted the fruits from the other backyard. And I just passed the forking board exam, I could find greener pastures out there. But I cannot just yet.


I will be starting to take live calls tomorrow, after 2 months of almost every kind of training. Because the pay would never be, the only inspiration I have now is that when I sit there, I will be like a superhero of some kind. People who got problems will be calling me and I will be there to make things brighter for them. That's what I am proud about being where I am now. I know it's cheesy but I always have this delusions of making the world still a better place to live in someday. It's not that big to be felt by everyone, but isn't the magical world of Disney built by uh, Mickey Mouse? Ugh. Well, maybe this one's my shot.


I don't have long term plans as of now, which is really so not me. I don't know if that's good. It's just either I am old enough to recognize the existence of change or me going back to early adulthood when people just decides from density of their hormones. I don't know. I have a lot of reasons to get off the bus. But I have reasons for staying, too. Not as plenty as the reasons why I'd want to go, but perhaps greater. My contracts lasts for just a couple of months anyway, might as well make the most out of it. Next stop, I'll know when I get at the next station.


And maybe my younger self was that cat.
The one that curiosity kills every now and then.

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M&M's TW #3

I want to be a real madman for a day. So I will have the privilege of saying my thoughts without filtering them. I can tell unbarred truths all the time. It's okay if I dont shower which is very favorable on cold and rainy days. I won't worry about people minding my manners. I won't understand norms and so I'm not compelled to act on it. I could tell our love story over and over again. I will have some degree of courage and freedom I don't have as a psychologically sound being. I could be just anybody - the great skeptic, the president, the sinner, the saint, the lover. Every moment is the first and last. Every day is a new day. It doesn't matter if the day went terrible, because at the end of it, like all the other might-have-been days, I will forget.

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Of Self-worth and Body Weight

I wake up at 9 AM in an empty house because everybody else has their own place to go. Watch DVD of some TV series finishing one season all at once. Coffee break before lunch, at late afternoon, before bed and some other random times throughout the day when I think I need some. Wash exactly 10 pieces of my clothes from my laundry basket when in the mood. Eat late lunch. Walk in and out of my room few times a day hoping to remember something to be done. But it's the same dark, quiet and tight place. Everything sits perfectly on their places most of the time. Nap after lunch that would last for 3-4 hours. Renaming all the MP3 files in my desktop so that all the first letter of each in the title will be in upper case. Sort my art materials and papers which I just sort out the other day. Wake up late in the afternoon stressing about what to do next then ending up sweeping the floor I just swept before taking a nap. Some afternoon, I'd start the laptop running on my desk keen to finish some essay or narrative but feeling emptiness on its peak, I just watch the infinite white sheet with the blinking marker on the screen for hours.

Yes, I think I developed this kind of vacation-induced obsessive-compulsiveness in me, organizing and reorganizing things for the last 5 months. And occasional schizoid behavior. And yes, relapse of my coffee addiction. Basically, that's how my everyday went since I was out of school.

It's like I can wake up anytime of the day or not at all and people won't even notice. No teachers would be looking for you. No attendance to sign. No class president bugging you for your late project. And of course, no deadlines to beat. No nothing. I was always in 48 kg since high school and now I'm in 50. And I never felt so unoccupied since then. If I had been thinking so much, like I always do, I'd think my self-worth is just equal to 2 kg body weight, which is a lame relation but makes sense if you give it a second thought. But I am not thinking this time. Besides, Mushy said I will be missing this kind of sleep-eat-wake cycle forever. So I'm having this - break. Maybe it isn't that bad to just look around. Breathe. Watch the world spin around past you.

Being in this point, I realized how one heck of a rushee I was - always running so fast straight ahead - that a sudden stop from all of it would make me lose my sense of purpose. I kept myself busy with things that barely mean anything because I fear to lose whats left of my self-worth. I don't know if you can grasp anything from my jagged thoughts here. But I dare try painting a snapshot of what it looks like, from my own perspective now, on the verge of it. When you are running so fast you forgot the principle of certain things, like a pull over. There are things that you would only see when you set back. You realize that things are not in pure black and white, you start to see things in shades of grey. You see the details. You see the signs. And then you see infinite possibilities.

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To My Continuity Girl

I lay down on my frozen bed tonight, 33 hours after the board exam result. But everything else within feels so lucky and warm. Yes, I'm overjoyed. Yesterday was perhaps the best day my life. With you right there, holding everything up for me. Tight. Unwavering. Until the good has finally found its way of revealing itself. I'm sorry for tagging you to such heartache. Thank you. It wasn't excruciating as it seemed because you have taken half of everything from the start.

Though I thought my esophagus shut down and didn't came back for sometime after, I know that was the best noodle cup I ever had. The best bottle of cold punch. The best unfamiliar place to celebrate. The best start of something barely known. Because I was with you. And we had happiness for dinner.

I have something with which I can identify now when you say you're proud of me and so I'm overjoyed.

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Tatlongpu’t apat na bagay sa high school na malamang nakalimutan mo na

Makakabalik ka sa dating eskwelahan, mapupuntahan mo ang dati nating classroom, canteen, tambayan (ginawa ko yun ng ilang beses pakatapos natin gumraduate), masasalubong yung mga dating teachers at makakakita ng ilang bagay/gamit na makakapagpaalala sayo ng nakaraan pero hindi ka na makakabalik sa HIGH SCHOOL kailanman. At dahil ako ay time traveler, pinilit kong gawin ang listahang ito mula sa nakaraan para sayo, Galileo. Dahil minsan kang naging parte ng lahat ng ito. Nawa’y maalala mong wag lumimot.

1. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. Na binibigay ng assigned teacher every morning pakatapos ng flag ceremony. Eto ang first activity ko pag dating sa eskwela, madalas kasi eto na lang inaabutan ko.

2. DEAR. Which stands for Drop Everything and Read, tuwing 9:45-10:00AM, project na ni-launch ng DepEd nung 4th year na kami. Ang saya ko nun kasi sakto sa Trigo namin natapat, nabawasan ng 15 minutes and Trigo. Hehehe.

3. DEAT. Ang balahurang version ng DEAR, na ang ibig sabihin naman ay Drop Everything and Talk/Text. Minsan yun mismo ang nangyayari sa DEAR. Buhay pa kaya yung project na yun ngayon?

4. SELF-DECLARED HOLIDAYS. Lalo na sa section namin. Mga batas ba. Haha.

5. EXTENSION. Sa deadline ng project, assignment, news, editorial at kung ano-ano pang article. Tipong hihirit pa ng extension sa naextend nang deadline.

6. PATINTERO. Boys vs Girls. Girls lagi panalo. Gentlemen daw mga boys e. Lagi wala gusto magrisk, baka kung ano daw mataga. Bat pa kaya sila nakikipaglaro nun noh?

7. CHARADE. Defending champ grupo ko dun! Hehehe!

8. LOADED, Super Crunch yung green, palamig, Stick-O at iba pang pagkain sa tindahan ni “Besprend”.

9. BESTPREND. Tindahan sa canteen namin. Alam mo na siguro bat bestprend. Actually, si Dyan talaga bestprend nun. Hehehe!

10. PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE. Na parang taping ng teleserye. Kunya kunyarian may comment/recommendation. Tsaka bawal tumawa. Hahaha.

11. TENNIS at INTRAMS. Ang intrams sa high school, walang pasok. Sa college, nagmimidterms pa ibang subject.

12. DUPAC. Ni Emman.

13. PATAY NA LANGAW. Ni Jerrick.

14. SLIMORPSE MACHINE. Ang drawing sa papel na naging !st Prize Winner. :)

15. ROLE PLAYS at PAVILLON. Na mga naging munting pelikula at entablado ko.

16. Paggawa ng HOMEWORK sa SCHOOL. Di ba nakakatawa? :D

17. PREAPARATION SA CALCULUS. Na ginagawa ni Christine o Jovel at the end of the day at pinapaphotocopy ng buong klase para may maisubmit kinabukasan. Kung hindi ka naman nakapagpaphotocopy may pag-asa pa, pumasok ng maaga para makakopya at maihabol bago mag-flag ceremony ang preparation sa Trigo, Calculus at Advanced Algebra.

18. Kung bangka siguro ang room namin, lumubog na dahil sa tanging functional na electric fan sa left side ng room na blockbuster saming lahat.

19. LATE AFTERNOON DISMISSAL. Late like 6:30 pm. 13 subjects per day ba naman.

20. MABIGAT NA BAG. Yellow pad lang dala ko nung college eh.

21. NATIONAL ROAD. Yun ang tawag ng mga subject teachers sa sahig ng room namin. Gets mo na siguro bakit.

22. BOARDWORK SA ADVANCED CHEM. Na peyborit ko.

23. BOARDWORK SA PHYSICS. na mini-may I go out-an ko. Hehehe.

24. PUNO NG SAMPALOC. Sa tapat ng room namin na sanggol pa lang mga bunga e di na tinantanan.

25. PAGLIGO SA INTIK. Yung mga diligent malamang walang alam dito. Hehehe.

26. 1, 2, 3 PASS!

27. “Pagmamahalan sa panahon ng exams.”

28. Pagpapa-pray ng mga 2nd subject teachers (na kahit kailan ay di na narealize na nagdasal na kami ng parehas na dasal sa 1st subject).

29. ELANI, MARU ANN, etc. Talamak na kawalan ng hustisya sa pagbigkas ng mga pangalan.

30. FLOOR WAX. Pag late ka: No Floor Wax, No Entry.

31. Panindang mani ni Ate Jenny. Na nauubos sa kakautang.

32. TEKSTO TEKSTO, ARAW ARAW. Walang kamatayang babasahing teksto sa Filipino.

33. PANSIT CANTON at SLEEP OVER. Sa bahay ni Demi.

34. FIRST LAB/PUPPY LAB. O kung ano mang tawag mo sa relasyong tulad ng kay Kuya Al at Aya. Haha.

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Thoughts from a citizen of the Earth

I was watching some earth science video tonight and I remembered how fascinating earth is - how it turned itself from a lifeless rock to such hospitable planet catering to all kinds of living and inanimate things we have today. It tossed and turned some molten material creating land and water forms just like that. Phew. Everyday since then earth changes itself more slowly but constantly for I don't know why. Perhaps it has its own agrarian reform laws that kept being amended. They say dinosaurs became extinct because it got so hot in here more than they can imagine, I don't know. Maybe because if they're still living here it won't be possible for mankind to begin? Maybe they're meant to go, because their contract with him already expired. Or man would pay better debts than they can, just like that. I really don't know the rule of the universe. But looking from here, past the great skyscrapers of the earth, learning history older than time, I'm wondering if how long will it be til the next generation. I am wondering how would everthing look like by then. I'm having some weird features in my mind right now. Would they look like that one shown in The Time Machine? Or those little men in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?

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