Where all the unsaid things are.

Friday, July 3, 2009

it's just another sickening week

because I'm literally drowsy and chasing my nose at the end of it.

Worse.
A developed case of sinusitis.
Worst.
That pig flu. I'd rather have sinusitis.

It's been sickening because I can feel the stress all over my body now. And I'm not enjoying anything I'm doing lately. I am just so busy these days that I just never seem to have the chance to write or paint or just walk slow to appreciate the day. The world just seems so in a hurry! I can't remember going to school or hospital without running. Everyday all you got to do is run, run...and run.

Good.
That I have you.
I'm happy I'm alive. And with every dose of your Neverland, I am living. And never tired.

Keep me strong, Peter Pan.

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nursing school survival rules


I need to learn all the rules. So I could break them.
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Sunday, June 21, 2009

he looks familiarly sweet


Tanay Chheda
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Saturday, June 20, 2009

hollow head for the inappropriate days

The official first week of school just worn off. It was jam-packed. Wednesday would be for minor subjects. While thursdays would be for the 7 concepts and 1 pre-op skills lab, which means I would be hurdling over an 8-unit subject for 8 hours on that day. Friday is another day for those relentless minors. And the rest of the days (including weekends) would be a self-motivated duty days. I still got nothing useful in my head, not even the slightest enthusiasm on beginning right my P12,000-worth semester. My mental health is deteriorating, because for some reasons I laughed on the most hurtful things to me. Because I'm in love with somebody but I have a strange way of showing it. I don't know how to sort out things between my past and present. Well maybe I became insane because of the intervals of horrible sanity. But for whatever it takes, I still don't think that I have the strength to let all these go - the beautiful gift of living itself and everything in it worth cursing.
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Thursday, June 11, 2009

It just keeps getting better

nothing is worse. old music, new music, films, books, paintings, photographs, poems, random conversations, trees, clouds, rainbow, aspirations, job. they don't become less everyday, they are just different.

there are happy days, happier days and happiest day. but there are no lonely days. it's only that you are happier yesterday than you are today...
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

my inspiration

i'll be looking for you...
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For the bleak days, nice try

Being on the verge of losing my enthusiasm on studying, its funny how things at school could be so easy for me. I'm going to believe now that everything starts to work out right just when you are to think of quiting, just when you think that its time for loneliness again.

I was seriously considering moving away - work, perhaps and live on my own - for the sake of my sanity. Besides, with two years left I don't expect anything except for mediocrity and a diploma at best would happen to me in nursing school.

I just feel happy today. Seeing the sun shines like this day (with you at my side, whether virtually or not)
hell, I don't want anything else. I just want to hug the lightness of being I feel now.
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Saturday, June 6, 2009

rainy days

Wonders, wonders go away.
Days my own Grinch created has begun today.
Rain, rain how they break me.
Funny how they make you happy.


I don't like the rain that much. I don't like it when it's cloudy. I don't know why, I guess it's because it just reminds me of when I was little. I am a weakling and as soon as it gets gloomy I should be inside the house. I used to get sad to the fact that most of the children my age could run the streets when its raining and I can't because of my weak lungs. Now when it rains it saddens me out and it just puts me in a chill mood.

^ my stolen childhood


12:20am

It has been raining on and off for the last 48 hours. It's not raining at this hour. Though it's dark, I feel like it's just bleak outside.

But I'm trying to remember this quote

"...catching raindrops. To each drop a name, and there’s one you’re dying to find, but how? For each one is a possibility, a chance dividing infinitely in all directions every second. I know you’re not really fascinated with rain. But hey, lately you’ve been catching a raindrop, the one that carried my name.”
(and of course a cup of hot dark sweet coffee) to show rainy days aren't all bad.


I just want to know,
if you'll gonna be with me til the next sunshine tickles me?



photo credit:
"Singing in the Rain" by Neloqua
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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Mush Potato vs. Big Monster

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Monday, June 1, 2009

Always one

My Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that my personality type is that of the

Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

Idealists at Work
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job.

Conscience looms large for you; in almost any situation, you feel compelled to measure yourself, other people, and the conditions of the environment against your personal morality. You have a tendency to perceive questions of meaning in even trivial matters and to worry about far-flung consequences of your actions. In your ideal job, you are free to pursue depth rather than breadth and quality rather than quantity. You feel rewarded when your projects and daily tasks allow you to immerse yourself in your process as deeply as you "need to" in order to satisfy your inner standards of quality. You are uncomfortable with the notion of authority per se and may avoid leading, as well as being led, either consciously or unconsciously. As you experience them, adhering to fixed roles and rules amounts to an abdication of your responsibility to exercise your conscience.


Are you one? Take it. Click here.

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